And I’m a happy boy. So, my guitar thingy came with a nice little practice amp. Great for a ‘soloist’. So, it’s been a fun –but out of character– practice week for me. Some other shit:

HELLO MY RUSSIAN FRIENDS!! Why you only visit me right before every election?? It makes you look foolish. But, I WUV MY WITTLE ‘PINKO FOOS’!! Nice trick, NOW SEND ME SOME SPUTNIK V SOLDIERS!!

Lastly, this pandemic has really helped me to master my life. I know, I know… what life? ‘Cuz I’ve always kept to myself. But, now… Gettin’ so good, I feel like I could give lessons.  

H The Great – Russia poke

‘Tober’s Comin’!!!

Oh man, this could be a good one. This year’s Octoberfest beer of choice has both ‘Herkules’ AND ‘Magnum’ hops. I also have the appropriate matching liter mug!! ‘Beer Nuts’ have come back in stock… Hold on, I’m hyperventilating.

The new guitar part is coming next week… Now, I’m actually starting to believe there is a force in the universe that can only be described as ‘Hans Luck’ that’s making this all possible.

Hans Luck

Tonight’s Iraq Frontline

I had a nightmare immediately after watching it.

‘Where am I? A Dining tent? I can’t see out. It’s a mess, I’ll help clean up.’

‘What. The. Hell? It’s moving up?!? Is this thing on a crane or something?’

‘Fuck, now it’s in freefall. Oh. Great. I’m. Gonna. Die.’

Womp! ‘Ouch! Only fell about six feet, I’ll be okay. Scary’

‘Hey! Where’d the parquet wood floor come from?’

‘Geez, are those screws coming up through the floor?’

‘Not funny, they just keep coming and they’re getting frigging huge’

‘Jeez! I’m gonna get impaled on these goddamn things!’

Ends with me screaming.

-Scaredy ‘H’

Sorry Doll

No Heroin, keep moving. Was that it?!? I mean, I’m getting massively drunk but, does junk follow Trump?


P.S. And the Portsmouth P.D. called me this week.

Here’s my hypothetical interrogation:

P.D. “Did you call Animal Control?”

Me: “Yes”. Subtext: That cute rabbit downtown, we’ve adored him for months, he got hit by a car.

P.D. “Are you aware of the Black Metal implications?”

Me: “Yes, So close to ‘The Pearl?'” – Subtext: The first Black Church in NH is a block away. When the first Norwegian Black Metal church burning happened, they left a dead rabbit.

P.D. “Yes, any contact with Norwegians?”

Me: “Yes, I said ‘Hello’ to a Hans from Norway 4 months ago.”

P.D. “Come with us.”