Sometimes My Clips Suck

I know I’m weird about it & I know it’s copyright infringement. But, I don’t make any money off it so nobody complains. I’m using this one anyway. I know it’s psycho but, it’s so my life right now.

“Any problem on earth can be solved

with the careful application of high explosives.

The trick is… not to be around when they go off.”

I’ve been playing very old school lately. Nothing remotely technical, it’s actually quite liberating…

The Asshole Producer had to break up a fight between drunk me & sober me. Bibes just rolls with it by now. Sober me won BTW. Thanks Asshole! Drunk me was saying “that hurts my ears”.

So honestly, sometimes you just want to quietly give someone the bird and you want to be really far away from them when they go off.

In this case. I hope I get away with doing it. Please keep this inclusive and no harm.

In English, I don’t think we have a good enough antonym for the word ‘Wreck’” – ‘H’

Bad Girl #2

Happy Cinco!!! You might need a strong drink or two for this one. The true Stripe story.

I live near a coffee shop where people hang out. That’s where I first saw her. Long stripe of gray hair, brown motorcycle boots, sleeve tattoo… rides a Triumph.

During my sober stretch I got very routine. Get groceries at X-o’clock, see Stripe again when I get back. It got to be something I’d look forward to every week. To the point of ‘Aww, no Stripe this week? Bummer’ – Nope, she was in the fucking store this time. Holy shit!! I’m going to wait for her to come out – did that just really happen?

Now here’s where it gets romantic for me. She gets into an old Volvo 240dl wagon. Now I just want to fast-forward through all the bullshit conversation and get to the part where she asks me if I like old Volvo’s – and I can say “I fucking LOVE old Volvo’s!”. If you follow me you’d know that ‘this boy’s in TROUBLE’.

I got one more chance in the store after that. And I choked. But it was a Hell of a good practice. It’s hardball in the wild.

Hard ‘H’

My Environment        

Sometimes perception can become reality. So, I’m going to try and project us in the best light. This is the story of Brenna. I read about her just like everybody else. Front page news. Huge scandal: ‘Ex Police Commissioner faces jail time’ about sums it up. But, it’s all over now – resolved – no more news. She’s just a regular person that I bump into occasionally in the neighborhood. I for one have a crush on her.

So, here’s my news.

Couple months ago, she’s behind me at the grocery store. She just got back from NY – something about NY makes you very friendly when you come home. She’s wearing a very dark black ‘uptown’ type outfit. I’m happy but don’t show it.

A month ago, Friday and it feels like the first day of spring. I may be a color-blind mutant with no taste but, even I could tell you. That was a Periwinkle blue dress with matching shoes – and the hair is longer. This time, I kind of had to give it up.

I don’t want to ‘Doxx’ anyone. Myself especially. And I’m sorry if she thinks I look at her funny. I for one don’t want her in my life because I think she’d be too good for me. The rest of you should be nice. And not to be a dick, but she is only my 2nd favorite local Ex Police Commissioner.

Public Address ‘H’

Let me be the first person to make fun of me.

“Sounds like somebody has a girlfriend”

And I’ll address that later. But, since you know my ‘Achilles’ finger now – I’ve had to work on it. Nothing beats a really good practice, absolutely nothing.

So, I’m moving this site to ‘shiny metal’ and I mean this in a computer hardware kind of way. I kind of called it quits when I had to write a letter to somebody in order to do email.

So, my so-called girlfriend – do not fuck with me. I will rack you up $100 fines & you only get 5*. Trainwreck at home and… “I told you Bibes, just hold The Asshole’s face down in the coke… he’ll stop crying”.

So yeah, I said that shit and The Asshole Producer is going to yell at me torrentially for about the next 10 hours. There may be possible gunplay but, Bibendum doesn’t mind being shot.

I’ll be Um-Kay ‘H’

* Weed is still not legal in NH.

PS. I know how crazy this post sounds. Next time: Neighborhood Bad Girl #1