Lunch With Lockheed // My Asshole Producer Mini Saga – Part II

A very real US defense order was issued last Thursday, February 24th:

DOD-EO-14017 – This is the unclassified version – a brochure – Something a major defense contractor like Lockheed-Martin or Raytheon might give to the ordinary rank and file civilian/citizen – say – Over Lunch’.

Bibendum went along because he thought I could meet a “Hot Lipstick-Labcoat Bunny” he was sure to be there – which I thought was oddly specific. Then my asshole producer wouldn’t stop blathering on about the importance of making business “Contacts”. In short they were both driving me mad when we were suddenly greeted by the most pleasant huge industry giant.

Mr ‘xxxxxxxxxx’ we’re so glad you could come – would you please follow me? This way”. It was like we were in a 4 star hotel, even Bibendum thought so. We enter a top floor corner office. “Can I offer you anything? A cigar? Something to drink perhaps?”

Now, I don’t remember whose bad idea it was but, the next thing I did was furiously jump up onto the desk like Rick James at the Mowtown offices* and yell “SMOKES! NOW!!!” room tremblingly loud. After that, all I remember is three different voices telling me to calm the fuck down and the gentle smell of fresh tobacco.

Oh, I know it’s sick. If I were successful, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

Highway Z’s about a minute deep. In the realm of Idjuba, It’s coming along pretty good.


  • Bitchin’: The Sound and Fury of Rick James (2021) – but, minus the penis exposure